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What is premature ejaculation? Premature ejaculation – we often read about this condition or hear about it being talked about in whispers. It is a condition usually shrouded in secrecy. It remains a mystery to most males who, even though confronted by it and becoming increasingly upset by it, do not know enough about it to correct it.
Premature ejaculation refers to the condition where a man, while making love to his partner, is not able to control his urges and reaches his climax even when neither he nor his partner is ready for it. This highlights a man’s inability to control his sexual reactions, reaching his climax in particular. Because of the dearth of information about the condition, a man usually associates this inability with sexual incompetence. He feels extremely sexually inadequate in reference to bringing sexual fulfilment to his partner. He feels frustrated. And if this situation covers about every encounter he has with his partner, and it is not dealt with with the appropriate understanding and effective communication, the relationship is not likely to last.
If a man and a woman initiate the sexual act, it is presupposed that both partners want the act prolonged inasmuch as it is supposed to be pleasurable and fulfilling for both. But if the man, through no intention or desire of his, ejaculates prematurely, the sexual act is often brought to an end. This leaves the woman unfulfilled and frustrated. If every single sexual encounter proceeds this way, she is likely to feel resentful. She may feel that her partner, unable to respond and fulfil her sexual needs, does not love her enough. The man, on the other hand, is likely to feel embarrassed and ashamed of himself. He knows he has not satisfied his partner and may feel sorely inadequate. Poor self-esteem is likely to result.
Sexual contentment for both the man and his woman pivots on the latter’s ability to rein in the urge to lose control or to reach his climax before the appropriate time. Ideally, a man waits for his partner to reach her orgasm before giving in to his own climax. Providentially, there are certain steps and measures a man can take to regain control of his sexually-oriented urges. Premature ejaculation is one condition which can be effectively addressed.
If a man is resolute enough to confront and find ways to correct the situation, he must first address certain issues. Many of these issues have to do with his mental and emotional state. Premature ejaculation, an apparently physical condition, may very well have psychological roots.
Although some men may find it difficult to lay bare his emotions to his partner, there is a strong need for communication channels to be open between a man and his partner regarding the issue of premature ejaculation — what is causing it in their particular case, and what can be done concretely by both the man AND his partner to resolve the problem.
All these steps will only enhance the relationship – helping each partner accept the other regardless of frailties. This will make them trust each other more, becoming more intimate and loving, leading to less pressure about one’s lovemaking skills. Assured that what is important is the expression of one’s love, the sexual encounter exerts less pressure on the man to perform well in bed. If a man perceives that there is less pressure or expectations, he is better-able to gain control of his urges.
There are many techniques to deal with premature ejaculation. All that is required is the readiness to find out what these are, as well as the patience to apply those which look promising in the effort to curb or completely eliminate premature ejaculation.